3 Reasons Why You Agree When You Don’t Want to Agree – In Your Personal Life.

Why do we agree with someone when we really don’t want to agree?

What makes us say “yes” when we really want to say “no”?

What are the causes of these behaviors?

The answer starts by understanding how we operate out of the 3 main circles of influence in our lives – Business (at work), Social (society), and Personal.

In two previous blogs, we focused on Business and Social.

Now, let’s look at the 3rd circle – The Personal.

In the Personal arena, there are 3 main reasons we might agree when we don’t want to.

The first reason is common to all three arenas – Business, Social, and Personal. It is…

#1. We don’t like disagreeing because most of us metabolize disagreement as conflict.

This is because, as a species, human beings survive and grow by collaborating with each other – we have to get along. That’s why we try to avoid disagreeing whenever we can.

The second reason is…

#2. Because we care. This means that even though we disagree with someone, we agree with them anyway. We do this because – based on our history – we know that our disagreeing might make them uncomfortable or they may become upset. Since we care about them, we try to prevent this from happening, so we simply agree.

Number three is..

#3. We want to stay safe. This is a situation where we agree when we don’t want to agree because – based on past experience - when we disagreed, our disagreement led to unpleasant consequences for us. To avoid this potential outcome, we agree when we don’t want to.